How to Move On After an Eating Disorder
If you’ve been in recovery from your eating disorder for a while, it can feel SO. EXHAUSTING. When your eating disorder's still whispering abusive sweet-nothings in your ear, it’s super draining to keep working hard to do all the right things! Believe me, I get it.
After a while, it starts to feel like “What the heck! Are all these women really recovered? When’s it gonna be *my* turn, already?” And I hear you! So what gives?
When your body’s recovered, how do you stop having an eating disorder in your head??
I used to believe this is just what it’s like to be recovered. That I was just doomed to constantly fighting off ED thoughts for the rest of my life. But if this is you, you NEED to hear this:
You are so close to reaching full remission, it’s crazy!
The way you’re feeling right now? It’s not what being recovered is like! You are in the final stage of recovery, which - I think - is the most difficult phase of the recovery journey. In fact, it’s so infamous, I’ve taken the liberty to name it.
Semi-recovery (noun):
When you’ve physically recovered and stopped acting on behaviors, but mentally, you’re still fighting the good fight.
It feels like you’re straddling the line between having an eating disorder, and being fully recovered. So what keeps us from crossing the finish line?
Two things:
Societal norms
Bad habits
Let’s be real: for good or for worse, wellness is a way of life right now. And it’s not just for the wealthy and elite; even Costco sells Keto-branded foods, organic virgin coconut oil, and health supplements. Wellness has practically taken over our culture. It’s no wonder you’re having a hard time just eating food when everywhere you look, someone’s parroting on about how wellness is the magic key.
Don’t let yourself fall victim to these ruthless marketing tactics. Not only is there not sufficient scientific evidence to prove they work, but the fact remains that, especially for women with a history of disordered eating…
Manipulating what or how you eat will always be physically and mentally unhealthy.
There will never be a diet, lifestyle, or method of eating that can improve your health better than recovery will. Period. The end.
FOMO is a big reason women have a hard time reaching full remission. To tell if this is you, ask yourself: Are you scared of missing out on being healthy?
If this sounds like you, remember this:
Trying to eat healthy is not (I repeat: is not!) the way to be healthy.
And shunning diets doesn’t mean you’re barred from supporting a healthy body. On the contrary, it brings you one GIANT leap closer. I get way more into this in my ebook, so if you’d like to go deeper, you can check that out here. But for the sake of brevity, know this:
Healthy eating is an incredibly ill-defined term. It means many things to many people. And for people who want freedom from eating disorders, healthy eating means simply: eating, and moving on.
If you attempt to find health by following wellness and diet trends, you will always end up sicker, and you will always miss out on your one, precious life!
So, if you want to feel healthier and more alive:
Let go of wellness;
embrace recovery.
Now, let’s move on to the second factor that could be holding you hostage in semi-recovery purgatory: obsession.
Let me ask you something: Is your eating an obsession you can’t let go of?
If your mind is continually drawn back to food, there’s a few reasons why:
First, we don’t live in a recovery vacuum. Diets are being advertised virtually everywhere. Even if you know you need to let the eating trend du jour pass by you without a second thought, marketing is sneaky, and wellness trends can still influence the way we view food.
It’s imperative to recognize that a shiny new diet won’t solve these problems for you; they’ll worsen them. If you’re having a hard time steering clear of wellness trends, here’s how to move on:
Ask yourself these two questions:
Why do you want to eat in a specific way?
What hunger are you looking to satisfy?
I’ll bet you a million dollars there’s a more effective, non-diet way to improve whatever it is you’re unsatisfied with.
Another reason why your brain is so focused on food is that eating disorders are very similar to OCD. They’re both characterized by intrusive, repetitive thoughts that lead to compulsive behaviors.
My point is: it’s OK if you’re still wired to think in disordered ways. And though it takes the brain a while to reprogram harmful thinking habits, it’s still happening. So, that inner b*tch that keeps telling you you’ll never be healthy or beautiful if you don’t diet? The best thing you can do to shut her up is to actively challenge those disordered thoughts.
So, I hereby give you the upper hand: you can stand up to those round-the-clock disordered thoughts because you’re the one who’s right. You don’t need to manipulate the way you eat or move to be healthy, beautiful, or happy - I PROMISE! So don’t give up. After a while, your inner b*tch will be singing to a new tune in no time.
Which brings us to the last reason you might be obsessing over food: hunger!
Many people don’t realize that hunger *literally* leads to food obsession. If you’re consistently pondering any manner of food-related topics, it’s totally natural! No matter what you do, having your thoughts preoccupied in this way is a symptom of the time you spent having an active eating disorder. You can check out some super interesting evidence for this in my ebook, but know this: It will go away with time, so hang tight! But until then, there’s a super fun and helpful way you can turn this obsession into something that strengthens your recovery, and I did it myself:
Forget about eating ‘healthy’; e~a~t f~a~n~c~y.
Pinkies up, ladies! Instead of spending time worrying over eating the healthiest way possible, turn that obsession on it’s head by coveting beautiful, fancy food instead. Trade green smoothies for warm croissants, kale salads for French cheese, and celery juice for cappuccinos. I promise you, obsessing over delicious food is WAY more fun than obsessing over wellness foods.
Bonus: it’ll help you that much more in recovery.
To recap:
Stop with the wellness FOMO, already! Science just doesn’t have the answers yet. Plus, you’ll be way healthier as a recovered woman than a recovering one.
If you’re obsessing over food and how to eat it: it’s not your fault! Food obsession is a symptom of undernourishment.
Give your brain time to change its habits, I promise it will catch up to you.
If you’re going to obsess, don’t let it be over wellness foods: be fancy instead 🎀
So, what do you do if you’re stuck in semi-recovery?
Keep. Going.
Keep feeding yourself. Keep challenging disordered thoughts. Keep going, because losing this obsession means gaining everything. Don’t underestimate the possibilities waiting for you beyond recovery!
If you’re in semi-recovery:
You’re not failing, you’re still recovering. And you’re still worthy of support.
Check out the Recover From Your Eating Disorder ebook for 200+ pages of supportive content to help you get from semi-recovered, to total freedom.
Rooting for you always,
Maria
