When Can I Diet After Recovery?
“Eating disorders are not curable in that they cannot be extricated from your person. Rather, when in remission, your disorder becomes dormant. Good news is: it can remain dormant for the entire rest of your lifetime. But the catch is, it’s all up to you whether you remain in remission indefinitely or not.”
In last week’s post, I touched on the fact that remission is an active state. But I couldn’t just drop that bomb and leave it for you to decode. And honestly, I have A LOT to say about this. So today, we’re gonna take it one step deeper.
In recovery, there’s almost invariably a struggle against the “unfair” truth that you’ll never be able to participate in another trendy diet again. I remember during my own recovery, being so upset that I was doomed to what I thought was a life of being barred from health and beauty. It felt like punishment to be banned from the one thing I was preternaturally good at.
I remember thinking:
“It’s perfectly unfair that I can never diet again if I want to stay in full remission. Why do they get to diet, and I don’t??”
And it wasn’t just me feeling this way. Panicking about becoming a dieting outcast is a super common roadblock in recovery. Partially for fear of giving up control over food, and partially because dieting has made itself comfortable as an integral part of society.
Either way, this fear is nothing more than another hurdle to be hopped on the way to remission. So, the question remains: How do we address it?
I like to approach this problem by turning it on it’s head. Instead of proclaiming the unfairness of never being able to partake in dieting again, think of it this way:
Is dietary exile unfair?
There’s a few ways to answer this.
First of all, it’s super important to discern that feeling anxious about not following a diet or fixating on what you’re eating is, in itself, disordered. Consequently, when you recover, you won’t feel the same way. (I promise!) When you’re enjoying your life in remission, do you really expect that a life of going back to anxious, out-of-control-attempts-at-control are going to sound better than freedom?? Heck no!
When you’re freaking out about being exiled from dieting, remember this:
Hyper-focusing on your body and the physical discomfort that comes with recovery can make panic over giving up control *that* much more formidable. But the reality check is: the problem is your thoughts, not your body.
Let me ask you something:
What’s genuinely important in your life?
Even if your eating disorder delivered on all of its promises (which it never can nor will), what carries more weight on your death bed? The size of your pants… or the way people will remember you? What you ate for breakfast, or the memories you made? The weights you lifted in the gym, or the stones you left unturned?
My point is:
You won’t want to diet after recovery.
This apprehension you’re feel in recovery will be replaced with the unfiltered experience of life you’ll be savoring once you reach remission.
But for the sake of argument, let’s think back to the perspective of being exiled from dieting as being “unfair.” And again, we need to analyze: is this really unfair?
Diets aren’t even good for you. They’re created by cherry-picking nutritional science that was inevitably poorly conducted in the first place. They’re marketed by money-hungry influencers and companies who use science-washing to sanctify bad ideas. And, lest we forget: diets don’t even work!
Ever seen those studies conducted on The Biggest Loser contestants? There’s a whole world of scientific evidence opposing the very ideas planted by the magical thinking of dieting, and this is only scratching the surface of it. But seriously, all we have to do is look.
So, diets don’t deliver on their promises. And, they cause you to either relapse or remain disordered. Bad deal, right? Regardless, there’s one other reason they pose a roadblock in recovery, and that’s society.
Point blank, giving up on diets can make you feel ostracized from a piece of society. Like it or not, diet talk and self-deprecation is one way women relate to each other. But let me remind you of two things:
Stop comparing yourself to non-disordered people, because they don’t have the same predilection you do. Obvious, I know, but it’s easy to forget that their version of dieting is absolutely nothing like yours. While you research, catalog, and follow each rule to a T, non-disordered folks dabble with the rules, and inevitably break them time and again.
While you push yourself further and further, the general population puts one foot in the dieting water, and keeps one foot solidly in the realm of normal eating. It’s pretty evident, but I think it’s worth saying: non-disordered people will never take a diet as far as a disordered person would. That’s what sets us apart.
So, the next time you feel yourself turning green with envy over your coworker’s new endeavor into keto dieting, just remember that to them, it’s a half-hearted hobby and phase. But to you? It would be an all-consuming, rigidly-followed, slow-death of a lifetime.Cool girls don’t diet. There, I said it. But I promise you, I’m not the only one thinking it. Gilmore Girls? Grace Adler? Liz Lemon? These characters were written to be the gastronomic girls next door for a reason: we adore them.
Let’s be real: we love women who aren’t afraid to eat, it’s just that most of us are too scared to be her. But when we break through that mental barrier, something magical happens. Not dieting gives the women around you permission to step out of the rat race, too. Because the truth is: being genuine is infectious.
Other than the obvious social pressures, society at large markets diets like fashion trends. As such, when you leave the world of dieting behind, it’s not difficult to feel like you’re missing out on health and wellness. But assuming that giving up on diets means giving up on health is completely off-base. Not only do diets not make us more healthy, or “well,” but if you’re that concerned about taking care of your health, wouldn’t you want to know if there’s a better way to take care of yourself outside of the fallacious power of food and exercise? Because actually… there is. And it’s a little thing called the social determinants of health.
In a nutshell, the social determinants of health prove that things like healthy relationships, low stress levels, and access to healthcare are exponentially more vital to our wellbeing than whatever dietary dogma du jour is being shoved down our throats. If you want to learn all about the social determinants of health, you can read my ebook here.
All this to say:
If you want a life, dieting is off the table.
The hard truth is: diets and remission don’t mix. But honestly, this isn’t as bad as it might seem to you while you’re still recovering. Once you reach remission, I promise you, dieting will be the last thing you want to do.
In the end, it’s not exile, it’s desertion.
XO,
Maria
